Sir, we have a class one blue alert holigraphic deep space beacon. Put it online. “Pakistani Starfleet Command, this is Princess Lakshman Khan, I only have but moments to speak as I have just been captured from my village near the Gilgit Mesosphere Domed city in Pakistan a few hours ago by his Owlness and the Corporate Alliance. They say if you continue to resist assimilation by the Corporate Alliance Republic they will assimilate me. Please, I need your help, I think I hear them coming. Hurry, hurry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I thought we heard the last hoot from his Owlness. We are not going to submit to the demands of His Owlness. Who do they think they are? These guys never give up trying to assimilate every living thing in sight. Please send a tactical deepspace rescue team to extract her within the lighthour before It’s too late. Labib Bin Skywalker can head up the rescue effort.